Norbert and Inga are a 74-year-old Scandinavian couple. If you are on holiday in Madeira, you might bump into them walking through the streets of Funchal, at a restaurant or on the seafront.
Every year, like many of their compatriots, the two like to take a plane to winter in the mild climate of Madeira Island. In spite of the arthrosis that is supposed to force them to bed in excruciating pain, Nobert and Inga wander around holding hands like a couple of kids, they still love each other and, even more unbearably, love to rub it in each other's faces.
Yes, because under the disguise of docile old men lie two provocative troublemakers programmed to make you feel genetically inferior and unhappy. The two Aryan grandfathers seem to want to remind you that spending a life together, cultivating interests, travelling and not hating each other to the core is still possible.
This means that if you don't make it, it's your own fault, you have no more alibis, you did it all wrong, that's the way it is, you'll die before them, alone, and good riddance.
Norbert and Inga want you to know this because in pure Viking culture they consider self-pity the stuff of invertebrates.
The only way to avoid them is to spend your time on the island at the beach, perhaps the only old lovebird-proof enclave. So here is a list of tips for finding the best beaches in Madeira.
READ ALSO: HIKING IN MADEIRA
Madeira Beaches
Madeira is a mountainous volcanic island in Portugal with numerous sheer cliffs overlooking the Atlantic Ocean that create visually stunning landscapes. Located between the African coast and theCanary Islands archipelago, the island boasts lush vegetation and a mild climate all year round with maximum temperatures rarely dropping below 20 degrees Celsius.
This fortunate combination of natural elements makes it more than just a beach destination; it is an ideal place for a range of coastal activities.
Here, one can easily enjoy spectacular water sports such as surfing, wind surfing and kitesurfing and take small cetacean spotting cruises that make for a different, interesting, varied and much more exciting stay.
In relation to the many kilometres of coastline, Madeira offers relatively few natural sandy beaches. The beaches are mainly of grey pebbles and basalt volcanic rocks.
Those natural sandy beaches that lie between the cliffs are made of dark sand that diversifies them from the classic exotic shoreline landscapes but offers a wonderful colour contrast to the crystal-clear ocean waters.
However, on the island, it is still possible to enjoy a wide alternation of rocky shores and sandy bays that are more comfortable and accessible, as numerous artificial beaches have been created using golden sands imported from neighbouring Morocco to encourage tourism.
This makes it possible to enjoy some beach time with high standards of beauty and comfort, for relaxing stays both in summer and during other seasons.
In addition, with a simple ferry from Funchal it is possible to travel to the neighbouring, semi-uninhabited island of Porto Santo, which offers no less than 9 km of flat coastline of golden sand that is also said to be therapeutic.
But what are the best beaches in Madeira? Which bays should not be missed?
Here is our short list of suggestions to make the most of the many opportunities the island has to offer.
Calheta
Along Madeira's generally sunny west coast, La Praia da Calheta could be considered the best man-made sandy beach on the island and a local favourite. Sheltered by small breakwaters, it is a well-equipped beach, ideal for children, for those who enjoy water activities such as canoeing or windsurfing or simply for those who wish to enjoy a relaxing day in the sun.
Praia Calheta consists of two bays of imported golden sand, positioned opposite each other, embracing a stretch of crystal-clear water that has earned it the Blue Flag for bathing.
It has areas with service facilities such as bars, toilets and changing rooms and first aid assistance, making it one of the most accessible and popular beaches on the island.
Prainha (Praia da Prainha) - natural beach
Prainha is located near the well-known and spectacular area of Ponta de São Lourenço and the fishing village of Caniçal on Madeira's south-east coast. It is a small but striking natural beach of black sand of volcanic origin that forms a bay of about 200 metres in a beautiful natural setting.
Although it may look like a cove hidden by a mountainous landscape, it is easily accessible by car and a footpath and also offers the necessary services for a relaxing stay with free admission.
It is a beach bathed by blue waters that are often rough and therefore suitable for more experienced swimmers. All around the beach one can see dunes with limestone fossils: the 'Piedade Dunes'.
Praia Formosa
Praia Formosa is only a 10-minute drive from the capital Funchal and is Madeira's largest public beach. It is composed of four different arenas: Areeiro, Formosa, Namorados and Praia Nova, i.e. three small sandy beaches and one large basalt pebble beach.
This beach complex suits different types of bathers, those who want to enjoy the sun and comfort and those who want to engage in sporting activities, those who like to lie on the sand and those who prefer to venture onto the rocks.
Here too, the water quality is certified by the 'Blue Flag' and bathers' safety is guaranteed by a team of lifeguards, plus these beaches offer services, restaurants, bars and supporting infrastructure
Natural pools
Another unique experience is swimming in one of Madeira's natural seawater pools, carved into the rocky coastline landscape with easy access to the sea via steps from the rocks.
They are mainly found in the areas of Funchal and Caniço but the largest and most famous are located in the north-west of the island in Porto Moniz where the volcanic rocks contrast with the blue water of the sea that circulates in continuous motion keeping the water always cool in a fairytale setting.
These natural pools offer excellent bathing conditions and are the perfect place to relax, swim, sunbathe or just visit the spectacular natural rock formations along the coast.
Madeira's most beautiful beaches
Calheta Beach
Machico Beach
Praia da Prainha
Praia Formosa Beach
Ponta Gorda Beach
Beach of Ponta do Sol
Beach of Madalena do Mar
Beach of Jardim do Mar
Porto Moniz Beach
Beach of Ribeira do Faial
Faja do Cabo Girao Beach
Beach of Faja dos Padres
Porto Santo Beach
Photos
Map
Below is a map of the most beautiful beaches on the island of Madeira.
Portugal
Madeira